“No… no… she’s not fat, but if she lost more weight I would probably ask her out.”

“Do you think you will if she dropped down to fifty kilos?”

“I’m not saying she is fat, but it’ll be better”

HUH?!!

I’m sorry, but who gave you the permission to discuss my weight? I do not think that it is any of your business when it comes to how I look and how I should look. It’s fine that you do it behind my back but NOOOooo… I had to hear this conversation being repeated to me during peak time at a restaurant.

The thing is, the person who repeated it to me expected me to feel happy. FOR WHAT?! Being told that even after losing quite a fair bit of weight, it is NOT ENOUGH?! I didn’t lose all that weight for anyone but myself so please, just comment on how much I lost and not how much more I need to lose. I know what my ideal weight should be!

And after all this, she still expects me to tutor her in accounting and cook for her. Babi…

Okay… I’m probably extra pissed because I know that I’ll never be fifty kilos. Oh, and the guy isn’t very good looking… Damn the men and their expectations.

Oh, but wait… I have expectations too…

1. Thou shall not smoke
   
2. Thou shall not be white but preferably fair or Thai
   
3. Thou shall not be dumber than me
   
4. Thou shall not be shorter than me.
   
5. Thou shall not have better handwriting than me
   
6. Thou shall not be thinner than me
   
7. Thou shall not be hairy
   
8. Thou shall not be boring
   
9. Thou shall not lose to me in chess
   
10. Thou shall not be more emotional than me
    
11. Thou shall not have a higher pitched voice than me
    
12. Thou shall not be younger than me
    
13. Thou should be able to make me feel slightly ignorant. Not too much but slightly.
    
14. Thou should be able to park better than me
    
15. Thou should be able to appreciate art
    
16. Thou should be nice
    
17. Thou should be kind
    
18. WE shall never run out of topics when in conversation
    
19. WE should enjoy a comfortable silence
    

MOST IMPORTANTLY

ALL I ask is that when he laughs, he does not sound like…
a monkey trying to grab a banana from a tourist at Zoo Negara
or
the group of hyenas in The Lion King
or
snorts like a bloody babi hutan
or worse…
sounds like all three every time he finds something funny.
( I hear this every night so I’m not exaggerating. It’s even worse when he actually imitates a monkey for her)


I’m a confirmed spinster. I’ll have to start being fond of cats now. Here kitty kitty…

I feel so much better now. Cis.