Aaaaa veeeeyyy Mareeeeee eeeeeeeee aaaaaaaa

Was doing my laundry and I saw this ad:

Study table for sale
$25
Contact: Girlieen
Tel: 604 384 2738

You would think that the name belongs to some girl who comes from China who liked being call "girly" and decided on "Girlieen" as a variation. I did not even read it as Girlieen but as Gillian.

I called...

Girlieen: Hello
Gaik Li: (Confused because it was a guy on the phone) May I speak to Gillian please
Girlieen: Yes. Speaking
Gaik Li: (Huh?) Oh, could I have a look at the table... etc etc.

We decided to meet up because he lived on the 11th floor of my building.

Went into his apartment and saw a Chinese girl on his floor. Smiled at her, offered my hand and said:
Gaik Li: Hi, you must be Gillian
Girl: No, I'm Sui
Gaik Li: (OMG! OMG! OMG!... where is Gillian?)

I turned around and saw a frame with acronyms for G I R L I E E N. The guy who greeted me at the door extended his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Girlieen"

Huh? Who the heck calls themselves that? Is that even a name? I looked slightly away to hide a snicker and noticed a familiar gold emblem on a small red book. Emblazoned on it were the words:

PASSPORT MALAYSIA

In my usual undemure self, "Eh, you are also from Malaysia?" (No wonder I smell curry)
Then, came the standard exchange of where we live and all that.

He hails from Jalan Ipoh (that explains the VCD seller look)
Studied in St. John's Institution (which does not explain the reason for his ridiculous name)

What was different was that I am the SECOND Malaysian he has met since he got here three years ago. I told him I could introduce him to ten more if he wants.

So, he added me to his MSN messenger and thus begins the story...

Girlieen: Hey, do you know anything about financial accounting
Gaik Li: Yeah, I've studied it before
Girlieen: Are you good at it?
Gaik Li: I'm ok
Girlieen: I need your help
Gaik Li: Like tutoring?
Girlieen: No, I'm writing a business plan. Do you know what a business plan is?
Gaik Li: Yeah, I've seen a few. Why?
Girlieen: I'm stuck with writing one now. I'm wondering if you could make up some figures for me.

(briiing...!! ding dong!!! warning bells sounding in my head because I wondered if he wants me to do something illegal - since he hails from Jln Ipoh and all... And I found it funny because I imagined myself changing figures to alter his net income so he can report lower earnings and save on taxes. Wow! I never imagined myself altering figures accountant style BECAUSE I HATE ACCOUNTING!). But, as the ever nice and busybody Gaik Li...

Gaik Li: What is it for? I'll try to help if I can...
Girlieen : Oh, it's my final project for my career college

(CHEH... I thought I would get to do something exciting)

Gaik Li: Ok, give me ten minutes and I'll be on my way up.

At his place, I tried figuring it all out and I actually knew what I had to do! Yay!

I couldn't remember the financial ratios so I told him to Google it. He accidentally clicked on a few of his Favorites and... jeng jeng jeng... P O R N - and he didn't even notice. I had to politely say, "Eh, your porn". His reply, "You know all guys watch porn. It's nothing"<--- really Jalan Ipoh mari.

I asked him where he met his friends because they were mostly Caucasians. He said Church. I said nevermind. He then proceeded to tell me that he is not a religious guy. He just goes to Church to network and meet Canadians. He nearly fooled me into thinking that, until he got a phone call that ended with him saying, "Ok, I'll see you at Bible knowledge class tomorrow".

I wanted to just run away from there but he told me that he would like me to meet a few of his friends. One of them a hot Brit bloke. H O T!!

So I stayed.

I explained what I was doing with his income statement and he scared me again with religious bullcrap:

"You are the answer to my prayers. You are my financial angel. Where are your wings?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"I prayed and prayed for God to send me someone - and he did"

AAaaaaawwwww - If only you looked like Colin Firth

"What is your religion?"

I don't have one

"Do you want a Bible? I have three"

NOOOooooooooo

"I'm not trying to convert you. It's just something to read"

Archie comics are "just something to read"

This conversation ended when his phone rang. I heard him tell the story of me being his angel. It rang a couple more times. And he repeated it a couple more.

In one phone, I actually talked to his friend Scott who studied in Chong Hua. He an Irish fella who can speak Bahasa Malaysia and Mandarin. I hope he has wavy hair because he already has a nice voice. Don't be jealous if he does (you know who you are...)

In the middle of another call, he put the cell to me ear and asked me to say Hi to his friend. I did. And he told his friend, "See, I told you she was real. She is my angel"

I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly finished it up so I could leave and blog :)

But... he offered to buy me bubble tea... and I like bubble tea...

The night ended with him asking me to meet his gang, Scott included at a bar where cowboys hang out.

We will be going in a van. A van?

Until then...